Thursday, 26 May 2011

Re: IQ Estimation

On May 27, 1:59 am, ailambris <ailamb...@gmail.com> wrote:
> So then raises the problem? Could it be that a large part are actually
> *unable* to demonstrate, at least socially, their intellectual
> superiority, and are as a consequence subjugated, like the rest of it?
> I remember reading a while ago about perception of mathematics
> competence, and I don't have the source, but it turns out that the
> group tended to believe that the more vocal of them were the most
> competent in mathematics. That is, primordial grunting wins?

Well, socially demonstrating one's intellect isn't really advantageous
in and of itself if one is concerned about making impressions. It's
better to demonstrate other qualities (sense of humor, kindness,
social sophistication, optimistic personality etc.) then let other
people figure out on their own if have some intelligence. In "How to
Win Friends and Influence People" there's an example of someone who
does nothing but ask questions and listen to another person talk about
themselves all night. The impression the person talking had of the
person listening to them is the person listening must be "brilliant."
A joke? Of course. In social situations, intelligence can be use of
strategy for manipulating target egos -- as much as it is fluency of
speech or capacity for data dumping, which surely has value but is far
more limited. People tend to like or even love people who appreciate
them.

As William James put it, "The deepest principle in human nature is the
craving to be appreciated." If one can understand this about people,
one will have a great advantage. In social situations, I have found
it's better to withold my own desire to be appreciated and rather play
on the other person's desire. It's never "you first" but always
bridging to what the person does well and what gives them confidence
about themselves. Then, you have an upper hand on that person without
them even realizing it -- all this without having to engage in false
humility or unctuous flattery, but rather just eliciting the other's
craving for appreciation...

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